...that I'm running out of! This is an S.O.S to all the moms out there who have dealt with the terrible twos. I seem to get frustrated so easily these days and I feel so guilty for having such a bad attitude. Eve is such a blessing in my life, but sometimes I feel inadequate as a mother when I react out of frustration. She is going through a whining phase and it's taking her longer to learn how to talk, so I guess she must also be frustrated. Let's put it this way: my two favorite moments during the day are when Eve gets up in the morning and when she goes to bed at night. I love when she gets up, opens her door wide open, and comes running into our room saying: "mama", "papa" and jumps into our bed to pull us from under the covers. She then lets me know that she wants something to eat or to drink ("nana"), so we go to the fridge together as she carefully looks for something appealing, but I always manage to get the wrong thing, so she starts her first emotional episode...at which point I wonder why I got up or threaten her to send her back to bed. Hm...and so it goes during the entire day. Rachel, a friend from my ward who has a little boy close to Eve's age, suggested that they must be discovering emotions and do not know how to deal with them...they don't understand why they are sad or angry and do not know how to control their emotions. It totally makes sense...but it seems that I don't know how to control mine either! I know there are some pretty amazing moms out there who do not seem to lose their calm so any comment or suggestion would be greatly appreciated.
5 comments:
With a barely-3-year-old and an almost-2-year-old, I can definitely empathize! I've found that with both Katie and Paul, it's a stage they go through while they're trying to figure out how to communicate what they want. They're old enough to know exactly what it is they're wanting from you, but not old enough to verbalize it, so they're constantly frustrated. With both of my kids, as soon as they hit that "language explosion," it really starts to subside. Another thing that Aaron and I have found is that the time when they're freaking out is not the time to teach manners. They're so frustrated that they're not receptive. What they really need is for you to help them try to communicate what they want. One thought: have you tried baby signs? I've heard that can help, although I've never tried it myself. Good luck and don't stress out too much. I know you're a great mom!
Annabelle...you are such a wonderful mom! Every mom looses her cool from time to time. This phase is new to both you and Eve...you will figure it out. What I *try* to do is stay calm (that's why I emphasized the *try*...sometimes it's easier said than done) and get down on their level...so they can see me eye to eye. I think it's hard from them to be flooded with the new emotions, and then to have someone towering over them is intimidating. I agree, that once they get the word explosion things start to mellow out. She's also at that stage where they test boundaries and test what action gets what reaction. I think I told you the other day what worked best when Xander was in that stage was to just place him in the other room, calmly, then walk away. When he was done throwing the tantrum he would come out and I would give him lots of loves and tell him I'm glad he decided to act civilly and could then participate in what we were doing. It worked wonders for him...not so much for Ry. I find myself saying a lot "My ears don't work when you whine...can you ask me in a nice voice so I can hear you?" Each child is different and it's just a matter of figuring out what works best for you and your parenting style.
Hang in there...I know it seems like it will never end, but it will. Call me if you need me to take her for a while so you can catch your breathe.
I totally understand how you're feeling. Samuel had a really, really tough week last week, and by Friday he was literally screaming at me ALL DAY LONG!!! By about 3:00 I put him in his crib and called my mom bawling. Here was her advice:
1. Don't take it personally. He's probably upset about something I can't see (teeth, growing, etc.), and he can't understand how he's making me feel.
2. When I can't take it anymore, put him in the other room and close the door until I can regain control.
3. Just remember that Eve is VERY lucky to have such a great mom. You love her and you take good care of her. Someday she'll appreciate just how lucky she is. :0)
Bon courage, tu es une maman exceptionelle!!
Being a mom is just hard sometimes. I don't have a two-year-old yet, but feel like I know about the whining and the tantrums already. Sometimes when I feel like I'm losing it, I just buckle Nettie into the stroller and go for a long walk. It gives us both a break.
Anabelle, I hated being a mom for a few years...blame it on the toddler age. It's normal and it's part of our progression to being better parents. Just be your own cheerleader and remind yourself everyday that Eve and your other children will grow up faster than you can possibly imagine! GOOD LUCK!!! May the force be with you.
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